Glossary

A few navigational tools to help you wade through the chaos. 


Frolligag:  This is a blend of “frolic” and “lolligag.”  So it means wasting time in a cheerful and gay manner.

Whoa Guy!:  Usually shouted out by the boys indicating that they are acknowledging a sexual situation.  Usually followed up with, “I’m not like that!” even though they are.  A lot of people ask me if the group home is just filled with gay kids, as there is so much sex going on.  The fact is, there is no more a percentage of homosexuality than in the general public.  The kids are seeking sex as a way to feel intimacy and privacy, things that they’ve never had in their lives.

Peer:  Anyone else in your group.  While talking with the kids, we refer to their compatriots as peers, but staff and Admin have peers too.

Provoke:  Constantly used by the kids.  As in, “He’s trying to provoke me!”  It means that a kid is trying to get another kid to act out to get him in trouble.  It almost always works.   Similar to “setting up.”

Setting Up:  A diabolical plan put in place to get another kid in trouble.

Booty-bumping-busting-pumping-popping-bopping:  Anal sex.

Diet Cokes and Sleepwalking:  Code for staff when they are talking about beers and getting drunk.

Checking in:  Some kids’ programs require them to “check in,” with staff at certain time intervals.  They’re supposed to talk about their feelings from over the last hour or so.  The kids usually seek out the newer staff so they don’t have to talk about anything substantial.

On Station:  Although sex and violence are prevalent here, some kids are required to sit “on station,” or at a certain designated spot when they are “on the floor.”  This helps staff keep and eye on them at all times.

On the Floor:  Out in the common area of the house.  A kid can get sent “off the floor,” to his room or the “Quiet Room” for misbehavior.

Quiet Room:  The biggest misnomer of the bunch.  The Quiet Room is a locked and padded room where kids who are “blowing out” are sent.  If a kid is having a major violent tantrum, the staff have to to “escort” him to the quiet room, and lock it until the tantrum calms down.  Of course, once the kid is in the Quiet Room, he can still come up with all kinds of confounding shenanigans.  There is a “Time-Out Room, a sort on ante-room before you open the door to the Quiet Room.

Blowing Out:  Having a major, violent tantrum.  Kids also use this as a threat:  You can’t make me take a shower, I’ll blow out!”

Escort:  This is the official term for grabbing a kid and dragging him somewhere against his will.  It legally requires at least two staff and we are trained to hold kids in a certain, legal and supposedly painless way.  Some staff have certain, liberal interpretations of what is legal and painless, however.

Prone Restraint:  Another official term used to describe how staff grabs a kid, throws him down on the floor and gets on top of his arms and legs so he can’t move.  Again, we are trained to do this in a safe, legal and painless fashion.

Hecka-:  The kids (and staff) are not allowed to cuss, so saying something like “That guy’s Gameboy is hella-tight” has to be reduced to “hecka-tight.”  Nobody says this anymore except for group home kids.

Serve it!  When kids are told to serve a time-out, others heckle him with “Serve it!”   This is not allowed since it is a rather obvious provoke.  However, some kids have gotten away with it at breakfast when pancakes have been served.  “Please pass the syrup, serp, serve it!”

Wardie:  An insulting term for staff, and a general condemnation of The System.

One-on-One:  In unusually difficult periods, some kids require a single staff to be with him at all times.  These are for times when the kid wants to hurt himself or run away.

Tip the House:  A term used for when all, or almost all the kids are acting so badly that they all need to go to the Quiet Room, or the Time-Out Room.  As if the house was tilted and all the kids poured into that corner of the house.

Shut down the house:  Again, when all the kids are behaving badly, the house program stops and everyone is sent to their rooms or their designated stations.  One of the more difficult procedures to perform successfully.

Night Awake:  Sometimes referred to as the “Night Asleep.”  This is the single staff who is on duty from 10pm to 6am.  Their job is to check the rooms every 15 minutes and do laundry.

Say I Won’t:  The single most serious threat a kid can make, because if someone says “You won’t,” the kid then has license to do whatever he’s threatening.

Testing:  A kid will repeatedly see how far he can push limits and boundaries with staff, to “test” that staff’s mettle.

Bucket:   A staff’s car.  As in, “I’m going to go out there and fuck up that bucket of yours!”  Why buckets aren’t routinely fucked with is a mystery to me.

Off the hook:  Acting crazy.  “JD is in the Quiet Room right now.  He’s off the hook!”

AWOL:  Our term for running away.

Targeting:  Sometimes a kid will seek out a particular staff and provoke him for attention, either positive or negative.

Warehousing:  A term used to describe keeping a kid with us, even though we have tried everything and nothing works.  It’s an ugly term used mostly by staff, and said to someone in Admin.  “We’re just warehousing him so we can get money from his county.”

Crossover:  Information given about the kids from the staff who are leaving to the staff who are just coming on shift.

Transition:  For the most part, these kids are terrible at “transitioning,” going from one thing to another, like from school to the house.  So, there are several parts of the day where we have set up artificial transitions, where the kids go to their rooms and wait for the next event to begin, like house recreation.

I hear you:  This is what staff will say to reaffirm a direction or limit given to a kid by another staff.  Likewise, if a kid shouts out, “Stokie is a asshole!”  another kid may shout out, “I hear you!”

Back Up Buddy:  Term used by kids or staff referring to anyone saying “I hear you!”