Thursday, November 5, 2015

Entry 10: Kyle's Mom is Fat

We've always wondered how Kyle got so fat and sexualized. The annual Thanksgiving party gave us some clues.

When his mom, brother and fat family friend pulled up, the car was listing to the right, no joke. The muffler was dragging the ground, and not because it was unlatched. The mom was too fat to drive. Kyle's little brother hopped out and started singing and dancing, "I'm too sexy for my brother, too sexy for my brother!"

Mom took a long time to get to the front door and when she did, she was wheezing and filled up the whole doorway. She's an angry woman with a chip on her shoulder and a permanent sneer. She slammed her fist on the counter and shouted, "I know just what you're thinking. We look exactly alike!" Actually, we had put Kyle on a diet and he was slimming down.

Mom had brought a pie that she said was to share with the whole house. But instead of sharing, she sat down with Kyle and, with everyone watching, ate the whole damn thing, occasionally shoving some in Kyle's mouth. This was before the dinner had even started. She kept him in her lap the whole time, rubbing him all over with her paws. When she finally let him go, he and his brother were discovered a short time later rolling around on his bed.

We then said it was time for her to leave. She flew into a rage and promised to sue everyone responsible for messing up her "baby."

She did eventually go to court, and perhaps not surprisingly, was ordered to stay away from her son.

No comments:

Post a Comment