Entry 3: Jose Outsmarts Us Again

One of the more difficult kids to deal with is Jose (10). He is so young, and yet so sophisticated when it comes to flaunting his abilitiy to confound and tease both staff and kids. He is unashamedly sexualized and will enumerate his many sexual conquests during our issue groups.

He will point around the room, "I sucked his dick, his dick, he sucked mine but I didn't suck his, he booty-bumped me. Oh, I didn't do him yet, but I'm going to..." It just goes on and on and it is very effective in getting the boys riled up, even sabotaging whatever plans we may have had for the day.

We have had to be creative in our crisis interventions with him as well. For a long time, when Jose would tantrum, he would strip off his clothes in the Quiet Room and pee all over the place. If you were one of the unlucky staff dealing with him, you also risked getting peed on. He revels in the negative attention and downright shock that some staff give him when he does this.

Look up Borderline Personality Disorder and you'll see a picture of Jose. He idealizes his relationship with my huge black teammate, Gus, and will be sweet as can be until Gus sets any kind of limit with him. This sends Jose into fits. He will scream and yell, often assaulting someone to force Gus to pay attention to him.

Once, I went to check on Jose, who was locked in the Quiet Room by Gus. Gus is sitting there calmly and says, "Jose's having a few problems." I look through the plexiglass window to see Jose, butt naked, skating barefoot through streaks of shit.

On the wall he had written "I (heart) Gus." With his own shit.

What we've been able to do is instead of taking him to the Quiet Room when he tantrums is to take him to the Supervisor's office, which has a bathroom, put him in the bathtub and let him tantrum there. That way, he can piss and shit all he wants and he doesn't cause as much mess, and it doesn't require as much staff attention when he does it.

One such occasion occurred one Saturday as Gus was packing some lunches to leave on an outing with some other boys. Jose thought he was going on the outing.

"Hey Gus, where are we going on the outing? Six Flags?"

"Oh, no, Jose, you ain't going nowhere. Not with the kind of behavior you've been having all week."

Jose was stunned. "Oh hell no! Trick that, bitch. In that case, I'm just going to have to do what I always do, that way NO ONE gets to go."

He began stripping and walking to the Quiet Room. Anticipating this, Gus and I grabbed him and walked him to the Supervisor's bathroom and put him in the bathtub. Gus left for the outing and I sat in a chair in the doorway, out of piss-reach. Jose was livid to lose Gus.

"Think you can keep me in here? Well you can't! It's abuse plus I'm just gonna come out of here and piss on you!"

He grabbed his tiny, 10 year old dick, started pissing, and made stretching, thrusting movements as if that would help him gain the necessary distance to soak me.

I said in a non-chalant tone, "Jose, any move you make towards me will be considered an attempted assault and you will find yourself proned face down in that puddle of piss. Not only that, but I will use whatever amount of force to get you down there first, and only then will I call another staff for support. I hope you understand my words."

"I understand that you're a faggot-shit-liking bitch is what I understand."

"I find it highly ironic that YOU would call ME a faggot-shit-liking bitch, Jose."

"What? Oh hell no, you just called me a faggot! I'm telling my therapist!"

"I didn't call you anything. I'm just making an observation about your past behavior."

"What! I'm gonna hoo-ride this house, fucka!"

I said, "You know, Jose, if you really want to do something effective here, you should start talking about your issues. It might help you deal with your anger. You're standing there butt-ass naked in front of a grown man, and I'm just wondering what kinds of feelings come up for you when you do that."

"What! You just called me a faggot again! You're trying to make me say I want to kill my grandpa, but I'm not! You can't make me say it. You think he abused me because you don't like him and you want him to go to jail. You think you can outsmart me to make me tell lies, but you're just a fucked up child abuser. You probably like looking at naked boys!"

"Actually, I would rather be on the outing with Gus. My behavior has been really good all week and I think I deserve to go. How about you, do you deserve to go?"

"Nigga! I'm telling my therapist you're provoking me! You're gonna get fired!"

"Well, you're gonna need to tell Flip Joseph or someone like that; therapist don't fire people. Plus, you might want to put on some clothes before you tell. They might take you a little more seriously."

And on it goes. Unbelievably, Jose did manage to make it on an outing once. Somehow he was able to put together about 3 weeks of really good behavior and earned the privilege of going on an outing.

I love nature and I love to take the guys out to experience it. Of course I take precautions such as bringing sunscreen, carrying water and helping them to identify poison oak. Mellow Bill and I took a group of 4 boys, including Jose, to one of those big regional parks with paddle boats and things. As we walked down a trail, I heard Bill having a conversation with Jose.

"See Jose? Staff doesn't lie. If you have good behavior and work your program, you get rewarded. Wouldn't you rather be out here in nature than standing in the bathtub trying to piss on people?"

"Hell yeah! You know why? They got Choco-Tacos here. I seen 'em at that snack bar place. I'm gonna get me one of those bad boys."

Bill replied, "I like that idea. I might even buy one for you."

I had to intervene. "You know what Bill, Jose hasn't earned any allowance since he's been here. In fact he still owes the house money for all those potted plants he broke. I think it would be a bad message to buy him something when he still owes us money."

Bill demured, "Oh well Jose, you can still have the Red Vines and Cheez-Its we packed. No sense in getting upset over a Choco-Taco. Maybe you can get one on the next outing you go on."

Jose turned red with anger. "Hell no, mutha-fucka, I ain't never going on no other outing! You need to get me a Choco-Taco now, or I'm gonna hoo-ride this stupic-ass nature hike. Oh no way! You bitches are gonna get fired and I'm gonna make sure of that. You guys can't take care of no one, you're just child abusers!"

Jose ran to the edge of the trail and jumped into large patch of poison oak. He picked a handful of leaves and started rubbing them over his arms and legs.

"See? I told you you can't take care of no one. Now you're going to get fired because I'm going to get poison oak. You think you're so goddamn smart, but I guess I just outsmarted you, you punk-ass bitch!"

After we got home later that evening, staff decided that Jose should never go on any other outings, ever. He's just too goddamn smart for them.